By James A. on July 19th, 2007

If “The Simpsons” have taught us anything it’s that two-dimensional characters are funnier than three-dimensional ones. There are as many great Simpsons quotes as there are Republicans in hell, which is another way to say “a lot.” For 18 years the residents of Springfield have been piling up the wittiest quotes ever uttered on TV. So, before the animated series hits the silver screen next week, here are the best quotes in Simpsons television history, in no particular order…

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  • Lucky this guy was wearing a helmet.
  • Bush has destroyed the armed forces.
  • Is it real, or is it Tex-Mex?
  • Larry Flynt is stirring up more trouble.
  • Healthcare vs. the Profit Principle.
  • The best movies that never got made.
  • Nine year-old car thief.
  • The Ten Worst Celebrity Bands.
 

Jilly has pointed out to me that  I have been slacking, I need to provide at least some kind of content more often.  Well, she can stick it, but in the mean time check out these links:

Ridiculous Overseas Rip-Offs of American Films

Phillies lose 10,000; Bonds in a slump.

Amazing photos of animals in nature.

 

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So we realized the cage we were keeping Chico in was not going to be big enough for very long.  I look around on craigslist.org and find someone selling a cage for a “large dog” for $50.  They weren’t kidding, you could fit a large dog or a small elephant in this thing.

 

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So Monica comes home from school this evening and flips out when she sees Chico.  His stomach is huge.  Cleo the cat had opened the door to Tyler’s room, where the big bag of dog food is.  While I was not paying attention, Chico had gone way over the limit.  So Chico is panting and obviously uncomfortable, and Monica calls the emergency vet hotline.  They tell her to give him hydrogen peroxide to make him throw up.  I didn’t really think that would do anything, but sure enough within a few minutes he had thrown up at least a pound of dog food.  The moral of the story?  Keep an eye on your puppy, especially if you have a cat who knows how to open closed doors.  Also, don’t get a puppy.

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